Back in 2018, I gave myself for Christmas the Collector’s Edition of the Divergent series. And since then, I’ve been meaning to do a reread of the series. I was also planning another reading log type of post, so I merged both ideas. And I’m glad I did because otherwise, all my thoughts while reading Divergente for the first time since 2016 would be lost.

The only thing left was to decide when I was going to read it. And Instagram decided for me. I casually stumbled upon the new 10th Anniversary Editions and… oh my… the artwork is BEAUTIFUL! Now, I want to find a reason to justify spending more money on a series that I already own two copies of (the Movie Tie-in Edition in Portuguese and the Collector’s Edition in English). And maybe, just maybe, rereading the story can give me a reason why I should buy it.

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Thursday, September 9th

I’m really enjoying being back. I thought it could be tedious or slow, but I’m devouring this book as if I’ve never read it before. I want to keep reading even when my eyes don’t cooperate. I still remember what is coming, so I just want to keep reading to find those parts. I’m not even halfway through and already thinking to read the rest of the series.

Reading about the factions, the differences they have from each other, their values, and knowing how the story will develop gives me a different perspective. Every faction thrives to reach peace, but the differences that separate them are reasons why society broke. And the purpose of every faction allows to keep themselves isolated from each other and deal with the other factions the bare minimum. Dividing the society into factions didn’t help at all to archive peace, only to allow people to deal with others like-minded. Kind of Facebook groups. While you are dealing with people that have the same believes as you, there isn’t any bad blood in between.

I never had a problem with the actress cast for Tris (Shailene Woodley), but now I see how distinct they are. They have different voices. I also never realized how different the story is from the movie either. The key points are all there, but the details aren’t.

I’m loving it here! The movies are quick to watch, although I missed being inside the world for longer. I love being here, and I don’t want to leave.

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Friday, September 10th

I missed this. Not even halfway in, and I’m already laughing with the characters. I love being lost inside a scene and live it as if it was actually happening IRL. Bring my emotions to the real world. Transform the sentiments written into actions. Making the scenes come to the real world.

Now I feel so stupid for thinking I couldn’t enjoy myself as I did the first time. I was afraid my feelings towards Divergent would change. This was the very first series I read. And since then, I’ve read more than 200 books after it. Since then, I’ve learned more about myself as a reader. What I thought I liked, what I actually like, and new things I like. I’ve changed, and I was afraid that my change would also affect my opinion on Divergent. But so far, everything is great! And I don’t see it changing for the worst. Only for the better.

Just the other day on Netflix, I bumped into the trailer of The 100 and watching them finding out they aren’t alone gave me a tremendous desire to re-watch a season or two. I talked about my thought on the TV series before, but the first three seasons are my happy place. And I’m guessing that won’t change anytime soon. Just like Divergent.

I can’t explain why I feel this way, why I have such a strong connection with his book. It just makes me happy. I laugh with Trish, cry with Trish, and frown with Trish. Even though I don’t agree with her 100%, I love her and the adventure she is living. I know what is coming, I know there will be a few brutal scenes in store in a few pages, but I’m excited. Excited to be back, to fall in love again.

One thing I never agreed with was casting Theo James to play Tobias. Don’t get me wrong, he is a very handsome man, but he is no Tobias. Apart from Theo being too old for the role, he has too much sex appeal. I see Tobias as the boy next door that goes to the gym a lot. Approachable, shy, friendly, sweet, someone simple, and average. Tobias was never described as being the hottest guy in the room, so that’s why I don’t agree with the choice. Picture this: the boy next door, but he needs to boss you around. That’s Tobias.

I should make it a ritual to reread Divergent from time to time. I need to have the book more vividly in my mind.

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Saturday, September 11th

My mind wants to keep reading, but my eyes don’t. I love reading at night cause it’s my shameless time of the day. I can do whatever I want and don’t feel guilty about it. Although I’m always more tired, and it’s hard to get much reading done. At the same time, I feel kind of guilty to spend any other time of the day reading when I could/should be doing something else more “productive”. That’s something I need to relax about, especially if it’s the weekend. I need to open my me-time to other hours of the day. But this is going to be a constant fight with myself. I might want to read or game or cook or watch a movie. I have so many things I want to do, and reading is something I always sacrifice.

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Sunday, September 12th

Rereading the book makes me realize how it wasn’t just the last movie that was bad it was actually the whole franchise. The book is much more interesting. When I read it for the first time, the final movie was coming out, and I had never watched a single one. My friends had watched them, and they enjoyed them a lot. And it saddens me every time they say they don’t want to read the book. I don’t judge them because I don’t want to read every book that originated a movie I’ve enjoyed (looking at you To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before). Although I feel they would fall head over wheels. If they liked the movies, then the books would be so much more… EVERYTHING. And with a bonus, they would actually get an ending and not just half of one.

I wish the romance took longer to develop. It’s a drastic change in Tobias behaviour. I wish they became closer, trusted each other, be friends, and only gave in the feelings in the next book. It was kind of rushed, in my opinion. Or maybe this is just my reading mood screaming at me to read a cheesy romance novel. I’ve wanted to read one of those for months now. And I don’t have a single one on my shelves. I need to go shopping.

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Sunday, October 3rd

I was going so well, reading every day, having the time of my life, but then I started to take breaks from reading, and they grew longer and longer. Some people talk about the feeling of not wanting a book to end because it’s so good. Although I never felt that. When a book is good, and I’m having the time of my life, I just want to jump back in. I never feared the last page. But I fear my mood. I’m not talking about my mood as a reader, I’m talking about my general mood, my disposition. If I’m angry or sad or anxious about something, I don’t want to jump back into a book I love and possibly taint my thought on the book with my emotions. I want to be able to give all the love the book deserves. So I end up taking big long breaks if something is not right. And September was a “not right” month for me.

So now, I’ve just finished reading Divergent. And Roth did just drop a bomb and left. Wow! I didn’t remember how everything goes to sh*t in the last 100 pages, and nothing gets resolved. No answer. No conclusion. Nothing. Just an urgency to pick up the next one. Although I don’t feel that urgency yet. Not that I don’t want to keep on reading, but I took so long to finish. I took such a long break between reads that I fell of the story. I wasn’t inside anymore. That makes me feel kind of sad. I was having such a great experience, but life got in the way, and I drop of the loop.

I wanted to go back to Divergent so bad. I wanted to keep that feeling that I felt a few days ago. But if mentally I’m not in the deposition to feel it, then it’s better not to, right? Although this causes a problem like this one. I stopped about 50 pages from the end, and I took such a long break that, now even if I wanted to go back in and immerse myself in it, there weren’t enough pages. And I feel like I wasted this experience. This is not the sentiment I wanted to finish off. This is not the conclusion I wanted for what it still is one of my favourite books. It deserved better. A better reader that could cherish the moment properly. That could put the problems behind and make it the centre of attention.

Still one of my favourite books. I’m glad it holds a place in my heart. Is it crazy that I kind of want to read it all over again like straight away? To really dive into the moment. Well, maybe I can just wait for my new editions to come in the mail and read it.

PS: Yes, I bought the new editions. I quickly found a reason to purchase them: I need to annotate, and I *obviously* can’t do it on my Collector’s Edition!